(According to a few people anyway)
8:00 AM - Alarm goes off. Hits snooze. Sleeping comfortably on piles of money, rolls over and goes back to bed.
9:11 - Phone rings, waking writer as baffled story board artist calls to find out what the hell he was talking about. Throws sack of Kruggerands at phone to shut it up.
10:27 - Finally wakes up. Goes to the rest room. Takes a crap. Looks at it, realizes once again, he has crapped gold. GOLD! And peanuts. But gold!
11:14 - Saunters into the studio, accidentally knocking over a pile of neatly organized storyboard pages that were about to be pitched, causing her hours of work rearranging it for for an 11:15 pitch.
11:20 - Passes cubicles on way to gigantic office, saying hello to board artists, but getting half of their names wrong.
11:30 - Leaves for lunch.
2:30 - Returns from lunch, smelling of gin and stripper.
3:00 - Calls agent, asks how it's looking for a job on Fox's "War at home." In lieu of that, looks for joke writing for Jay Leno. Or Letterman. Or anybody who will pay WGA minimums and residuals.
3:30 - Realizing no residuals will be coming anytime soon, forces a meaningless song into an episode. After spending 30 minutes on Rhymezone.com in an attempt to find words that rhyme with "Fart," pronounces the song emmy-worthy. Song takes up pages 24 through 27 in the revised script.
4:45 - Starts writing new script with the words "100 zebras of different colors run down a hill of daffodils, rose bushes and apple trees that have rainbow colored apples. The thorns glisten in the light, like the sun rippling against a lake on a windy day."
4:59 - Heads home, asks board artists to not raid the 'fridge of his diet cokes when they leave that night.
8:00 - On way to Hollywood, realizing he lost his watch while patting himself on the back. Swings by the studio to pick it up, saying hello to the board artists on the way to, and back from his office. Stops to count "diet cokes" - unsure of he the number he had in there, takes a moment to leave a bitchy note with the line producer, just in case.
9:30 - Parties with Paris Hilton. Has no shot at her, of course, because when he answers the quesiton "what cartoon" he mentions it's a basic cable kids show. She disappears into the bathroom with two guys who were smart enough to say they were the creators of South Park, but were actually the Valet parkers.
1:15 AM - Drives past studio. Lights on in the studio as the board artists continue working. Accidentally breaks wind and smells it... sure enough, it smells like roses.
P.S. - Happy 4/1... including to John and Stephen, who probably believe this. :)